July 24, 2002

"Miss Lonelyhearts" by Nathanael West: Until this most recent revival, the only experience I had with Mr. West was limited to "The Day of the Locust." And I gotta tell ya, didn't like it. Thought it was a whole lot of nothing. The only point worth noting was that there was a character named Homer Simpson. So it was with wary hand that I reached for the Nathanael West collection. Now I'm glad I did.

Miss Lonelyhearts is the only name given to the protagonist of the first selected piece, a tag shared with an advice column he pens for the New York Post-Dispatch. It's Miss Lonelyhearts' job to dispense words of wisdom each day to the poor depressed souls desperate enough to pick up a newspaper for solace.

At first the job is seen as a joke. Miss Lonelyhearts, a budding journalist in his mid-20s, accepts the post in hopes of using it as a steppingstone to bigger and better things. The letters are nothing more than anonymous sheets of paper; his responses free of consideration or consequence.

Then one day Miss Lonelyhearts is struck by the grave realization that his readers not only exist in flesh and blood, but that they listen to what he has to say. Their collective suffering is enough to send his soul into an upheaval. He begins to examine his own life. What right does he have to act as their savior? How can he, or anyone, profess to know how to best endure the hardships of daily existence?

"Miss Lonelyhearts" is a marvelous examination of the human condition. Mr. West offers up either religion or love as the answer, but both fail in the end. This is a great book.

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"A Cool Million" by Nathanael West: Lemuel Pitkin is heroic by nature. So when an evil lender is set to foreclose on his widowed mother's house, it's up to young Lem to save the day. After procuring a $30 advance on the family cow from Mr. Whipple, the town's banker and former U.S. President, Lem sets off from quaint little Ottsville, Vermont, to try and make it in the straight world. His destination? New York. His goal? $1500. After all, America is the land of opportunity. Surely a nice, polite, innocent lad of 17 would have no trouble securing work and amassing a great fortune in America!

Lem's barely on the train out of town when he has his pocket picked by a nefarious ne'er-do-well. Not only does the despicable rat abscond with all of Lem's money, he frames our hero for a jewel theft. Lem is generously sentenced to 15 years in prison. He has all of his teeth removed as a preventive measure to help fight disease and almost succumbs to pneumonia. While recovering in his sickbed, Lem discovers that Mr. Whipple is among his peers in pinstripes. It seems the Ottsville bank folded and the citizens insisted on Mr. Whipple spending time behind bars. It's from Mr. Whipple that Lem learns that his mother had indeed lost the house and that she had disappeared without a trace. Hard to get happy after that one.

Thankfully, Lem is released from prison when the true villain is apprehended. He is given a full pardon, not to mention a set of ill-fitting false teeth. But his parade of misfortune is just beginning. When all is said and done, Lem will have lost an eye to an errant pebble, had his thumb taken off in a brutal car accident, had his leg severed by a bear trap, been scalped by a rampaging Indian Chief, held up to ridicule for the amusement of a paying audience, and unknowingly spark a political revolution that would sweep across the nation. And that doesn't even begin to tell the sordid tale of his true love Betty Prail's defilement at the hands of the Ottsville bully or her subsequent descent into the morbid world of white slavery.

"A Cool Million" is a rather scathing indictment of the American dream. No matter what Lem does he cannot escape the inhumanity of an uncaring populace. It cruelly mocks the ideals and virtues that most hold so dear, and does so in an extraordinarily funny manner. For all its wickedness and wonderfully subversive ways, "A Cool Million" is first and foremost a comedy of the highest regard. Its craftsmanship is exquisite for the way it juggles characters and brings them time and again into the path of our languishing Lem.

Basically, it's an Americanized version of Voltaire's "Candide." It's impossible to ignore the similarities and common theme of the eternal optimist beset upon by calamity around every corner. It may not provide the inspirational message of "Candide", but "A Cool Million" is definitely worth a read.

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"The Dream Life of Balso Snell" by Nathanael West: This one only runs about 50 pages. The best thing about it is, well, it only runs about 50 pages.

Balso Snell, the dreamy sap of the title, encounters a plethora of peculiar persons during a stroll through, of all places, the anal cavity of the Trojan Horse. Symbolism abounds. The various exchanges attempt to illuminate the nature of art, love, and sex. Did I mention it's only 50 pages?

Be very quiet. Try not to wake Balso. It's for the best that this story remain sleeping on a shelf somewhere, unopened.

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