"Three Men in a Boat" by Jerome K. Jerome: When reading reviews of "Three Men in a Boat," one will often encounter such phrases as "timeless classic" and "comedic masterpiece." Well, someone should buy these people a watch and a collection of "Get Smart" episodes on DVD, because they obviously have no idea what they're talking about. .
The story itself is rather simple. J., the narrator, and his two pals, George and Harris, decide to take a leisurely voyage down the Thames. The three friends are in desperate need of some rest and relaxation. After all, avoiding work, getting drunk, and suffering from all sorts of imagined illnesses can be very tiring. They're joined by J.'s dog Montmorency, a surly little mutt with a penchant for violence. After much planning and meticulous preparation, the foursome set off for two weeks of boating bliss.
They launch from Kingston and eventually pass through such towns as Walton, Reading, and Weybridge, although much of the journey is spent in Dullsville. Don't get me wrong, there are some extremely funny scenes -- like the packing for the trip, their repeated failed attempts at opening a tin of pineapple, Montmorency's various fits of temper -- but each comedic bit is adrift in a river of mediocrity. Basically, they just float aimlessly and J. describes the scenery and passing towns, recollecting stories as they go. That's it in the way of plot. Nothing happens. And that's cool; hell, I'm all for doing nothing. I do less by 9AM than most people don't do all day. But at least give J.'s stories significance. Some of them are funny, others just read like a tourist brochure, packed full of overly descriptive prose that will sicken the sturdiest stomach. Even some of the humorous tales lack true punch lines, leaving otherwise enjoyable chapters to conclude with a disappointing thud.
On the positive side, Mr. Jerome can be wicked clever. There's about a three-paragraph dissertation on work and J.'s opinion of it that truly is a comedic masterpiece. Mr. Jerome has a natural, easy-going style that lends itself beautifully to comedy. Make no mistake, this is a funny book. It's just nowhere near as funny, or as profound, as it could have been. I can't help but see it as a missed opportunity for philosophy. Their trip could have been a perfect metaphor for man's journey through life, placing the characters in situations representative of the various trying aspects of existence. But its goal is merely to entertain, not enlighten. While large portions of it are extremely well written and funny, it never adds up to anything of importance. In that respect, it reminded me a lot of "A Confederacy of Dunces," another funny book vastly overrated by the masses.
Going in, I rather expected to give it four shots, and parts of it are deserving of such glory. Unfortunately, its stunning lack of weight, not to mention its uneven quality, makes such a prestigious honor impossible. I should probably only give it two shots, but I am quite fond of a few lines, particularly the ones regarding work, and Montmorency is a loveable chap, so I shall grant it three. Why not? It's for charity.
(11.25.05 EDITOR'S NOTE - I've regretted giving "Three Men in a Boat" three shots ever since the rating was first poured some five months ago. And lord knows I have enough regrets, so I've decided to lighten my burden. From this day forth, "Three Men in a Boat" will bear the rightful rating of two shots. My conscience is clean. I will sleep the sleep of the just... or at least the severely inebriated.)
RATING: 