"Tales of the Long Bow" by G. K. Chesterton: Colonel Crane is a retired military man of unquestionable character and a respectable member of the community. So why is the good colonel walking around with a cabbage on his head? It's just one of the bizarre occurrences chronicled in this clever, yet uneven, collection of eight stories.

Colonel Crane is one fourth of the Lunatic Asylum, a social club formed in his youth that has lasted the test of time due to the powerful bonds of friendship. The other members are Robert Owen Hood, a levelheaded lawyer; Wilding White, a somewhat scatterbrained country parson; and Hilary Pierce, a daring aviator and the youngest of the group.

While the club's name may suggest otherwise, the members of the Lunatic Asylum are all living painfully sane, dull lives until Mr. Hood rails against industrial progress in an attempt to save a quiet little fishing hole. The peaceful river stream was the sight of a cherished memory, and Mr. Hood isn't about to see it destroyed for the sake of "progress." Along the way, he finds true love and falsifies a popular proverb.

The falsification of proverbs is the basis for all the stories. Mr. Hood's success wins him a bet with Colonel Crane, triggering the incident of the cabbage. Consequently, Colonel Crane's strange behavior inspires young Hilary Pierce to challenge a proverb of his own in pursuit of love. The trio then learn that Mr. Pierce's actions indirectly lead to Wilding White disproving a proverb of his own, while also winning the heart of his lady fair. Exact details of these escapades are being withheld on purpose, since discovering the identity of the proverbs broken is half the fun.

The above scenarios constitute the first half of the book, and they're really quite good. Mr. Chesterton is in fine form, displaying his usual proficiency with prose. And his overlapping of stories and intertwining of characters is simply ingenious. The first four stories are all clever romantic yarns, showing men going to impossible lengths to find love. Unfortunately, the book soon loses its whimsical, lighthearted feel, becoming mired in Mr. Chesterton's political views.

Three new men join the original foursome, and the assemblage eventually becomes known as the League of the Long Bow, their incredible deeds sparking an agrarian revolution that sweeps across England. Mr. Chesterton was a big proponent of agrarianism, which is a social and political philosophy that believes agricultural endeavors build a better man. The agrarian thinks land should be given back to the people for the purposes of farming, and that technology destroys independence and individual character. The explanation for the revolution is elementary. If this small group, this League of the Long Bow, can spit in the eye of proverbs, achieving the impossible, then surely English men should be allowed to own their own land.

I'm all for political reform, and I applaud any writer willing to take a stand, but the second half of this book becomes a blatant, heavy-handed diatribe, doing little beyond singing the virtues of agrarianism. Had the book continued in the direction of the first four stories, the product would have been a pleasant diversion of pure entertainment, a well-plotted, craftily constructed romantic comedy. As it is, the second half of the book makes it almost unbearable to read.

Although, it should be noted that the final line of dialogue, spoken by Colonel Crane's servant Mr. Archer in response to a lengthy query from Mr. Pierce, is remarkably funny. So, if you want to experience the book, read the first four stories, skim or skip the next four, but be sure and read the closing few paragraphs to catch Mr. Archer's memorable reply.

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"The Man Who Knew Too Much" by G. K. Chesterton: Aside from a shared title, this book has absolutely nothing to do with the Alfred Hitchcock films of the same name. This collection of eight mysteries never found the silver screen.

The star of the show is Horne Fisher, a well-connected government secretary who knows too much for his own good. His years of political service have exposed him to all the seamy, disingenuous workings of society and government. While this accumulated knowledge doesn't place him in any danger, it has filled him with a general apathy towards the world. Oh, it also makes him a real wizard detective.

Even though all the stories are told in the third person, Mr. Fisher has his own Dr. Watson in the form of Harold March, a young reviewer and social critic. He may not narrate the stories, but March serves the same purpose as Watson, providing the brilliant protagonist with an everyman surrogate for the reader.

Fisher and March meet for the first time in "The Face in the Target," a tale of a murderous sniper who betrays himself with his artistry. The best story of the lot, though, is "The Bottomless Well," in which a military hero falls victim to his own attempts at murder.

The coolest thing about Horne Fisher is his indifference. He's always described as having heavy eyelids, plowing through the stories with a sleepy lack of concern. He doesn't solve crimes out of a moral obligation or some righteous pursuit of justice; he simply does it because there's nothing better to do. He approaches each problem as a cold, mental exercise, leaving aside all emotional connections. Even when he fingers the culprit, he rarely takes action, often allowing the criminal to go free so as not to disrupt political or social waters. He may suffer under the onerous burden of the truth, but he sees no need in spreading the grief.

Despite Horne Fisher being a truly interesting character, a lot of the stories are, to be honest, boring… really, really boring. As with "Tales of the Long Bow," Mr. Chesterton once again gets bogged down in forcing his political views upon the reader, using many of the later tales as thinly veiled attacks on government. Of course, there's nothing wrong with that, as long as the attacks are entertaining, amusing, or in some way thought provoking. No such luck here.

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