The 70 proof staff enjoys three things above all else. And it just so happens that reading is third behind only... well, let's just say it's third.

Every few weeks we'll provide brief reviews of the books we've been reading in hopes of helping you, our valued readers, make better choices the next time you're at the library, book store, or refined brothel.

We rate books on a scale of zero to four shots, with four being a work of true genius.

Feel free to let us know if you have any books in particular you would like us to address.

May 6, 2002

"The Thin Man" by Dashiell Hammett: Anyone familiar with old movies will recognize "The Thin Man". The 1934 film starring William Powell and Myrna Loy is a true classic of the silver screen. The book is every bit as good.

In Nick and Nora Charles, Hammett creates perhaps the greatest married couple to ever find the page. Nick is a gin-soaked former detective who gave up gumshoeing to live the soft life with Nora, who is wealthy, young, and beautiful. They bounce from cocktail to cocktail, spending most of their time mingling at parties or pampering their dog, Asta. Witty dialogue abounds as the two exchange barbs and one-liners. It's kind of like if I would have married Dorothy Parker, except with fewer suicide attempts.

One night while they're out on the town, Nick runs into the daughter of Clyde Wyant, a former client and the Thin Man of the book's title. Mr. Wyant, a somewhat mad inventor, has disappeared right around the same time as his secretary is found murdered. Mr. Wyant's daughter, Dorothy, hopes that Nick will help clear her father's name. Not so fast. Nick gave up the detective business for a reason. He was retired and determined to stay that way. But circumstances, not to mention Nora, are stacked against him and he soon finds himself embroiled in the mystery.

This is Hammett at his best. The characters are unique and memorable, the dialogue sings, and the relationship between Nick and Nora is perfection.

One interesting note about Hammett, though. Not all of the great lines from the movies are found in his books. For instance, one of the best jokes from "The Thin Man" movie is when Nick is reading the newspaper accounts of his having been shot the previous night...

NORA: I read you were shot five times in the tabloids.

NICK: It's not true. He didn't come anywhere near my tabloids.

That's comedy. But it's not in the book. Likewise with "The Maltese Falcon". It was actually Humphrey Bogart himself who suggested the "It's the stuff that dreams are made of" ending.

So it just goes to show you, even the best get rewritten. But the "tabloids" line, and any other extra quips from the screenplay, only serve to honor Hammett's brilliant creation of Nick and Nora Charles.

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"For Whom the Bell Tolls" by Ernest Hemingway: Doesn't it suck when you get sent behind enemy lines to blow up a fascist bridge in preparation for a rebel attack and then you fall in love with a beautiful Spanish girl despite knowing that you'll probably never live long enough to enjoy a life together? Dude, I so hate when that happens.

Robert Jordan is an American operating as an agent for the Republic during the Spanish Civil War. He specializes in demolition. He gets sent on dangerous missions, relying on only his wits and the aid of roaming bands of guerilla fighters to survive. His new mission brings him into contact with the band of Pablo, a once bloodthirsty mercenary for the Republic who is beginning to have second thoughts about the cause. Pablo's woman Pilar is the true boss now. Their group is made up of a motley array of misfits, from the old yet loyal Anselmo to the rugged, foul-mouthed Agustin.

But the true star of the show is Maria, an abused young woman that was rescued by Pablo's crew from the fascists during a previous assault. Maria and Robert Jordan fall in love immediately and begin a love affair that, while brief in time, is eternal in spirit. The lovers make plans to marry once the bridge is destroyed and Robert's mission is accomplished. They allow themselves the foolishness of such dreams even though deep down they both know their future is in doubt. And indeed, the mission is doomed before it starts.

This really is quite the love story. Granted, some of the scenes seem a bit silly by today's standards. And it's possible that this book is what spawned the corny post-coital phrase: "The earth moved." But its heart is in the right place. And the ending is magnificent. It's been said before, a good ending can make up a lot of ground.

This book is also noteworthy for how Hemingway handled foul language. He would replace the offending word with versions of "obscenity". For instance, he'd say, "Go obscenity yourself." I don't want to brag or anything, but a certain young literary pioneer did something similar several years ago by replacing swear words with "sunshine". And "Go sunshine yourself" is much more pleasant. But, you know, if "obscenity" was the best he could do it was the best he could do.

Of the big four Hemingway books, I'd put this one behind "A Farewell to Arms" but slightly ahead of "The Old Man and the Sea" and "The Sun Also Rises".

RATING:

"Under the Net" by Iris Murdoch: Jake Donaghue, a struggling writer and translator for a French hack novelist, returns home to his flat to find that he has been turned out by his landlord and former girlfriend, Madge, in favor of a new beau. Along with Finn, his best friend and ever-present shadow, Jake must find a new place to live. In doing so, he must confront lost loves and broken friendships while trying to disrupt a dastardly get-rich-quick scheme planned at his expense.

This book is amazing. It's funny, smart, and significant. There's no doubt, it's the funniest book of actual substance I've ever read. It's genius, really. But it's not just a comedy. There's also plenty of thinkin' goin' on. Jake's search isn't just for a place to live, but for a place in life. It's about regret, love, and theory. He's coming to grips with who he is as a man and the kind of life he'll need to live if he wants happiness. And, no, it wasn't based on my life. Although, now that you mention it, I think "Moby Dick" was...

Read this book just for the glory that is Finn. He's the best supporting character this side of "Jude the Obscure"'s Little Father Time. Everyone should have a friend as loyal as Finn. Did you hear that, Zippy? Pick it up!

Don't be surprised to find "Under the Net" on the 70 Proof Top Ten list in the very near future. It's just that good.

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