The 70 proof staff enjoys three things above all else. And it just so happens that reading is third behind only... well, let's just say it's third.

Every few weeks we'll provide brief reviews of the books we've been reading in hopes of helping you, our valued readers, make better choices the next time you're at the library, book store, or refined brothel.

We rate books on a scale of zero to four shots, with four being a work of true genius.

Feel free to let us know if you have any books in particular you would like us to address.

April 22, 2002

"The Plague" by Albert Camus: Located along the Algerian coast, the French port city of Oran is as ordinary as it gets. The citizens stumble forward each day living the average life of the mundane. But nothing will shake things up quite like a good ol' bout with the bubonic plague.

When Dr. Bernard Rieux finds a dead rat on his doorstep, it's a harbinger of things to come. Soon the entire town is ravaged by the dreaded disease. The story is told after the fact by a mysterious narrater whose identity isn't revealed until the final pages. The device eliminates any doubt as to the question of whether or not the town survives, directing the reader's attention instead towards the relationships and circumstances facing the suffering populace.

If this book was only that, a depiction of how a town deals with the onslaught of disease, it would have been excellent. But Camus doesn't stop there. He always has a lot more goin' on under the surface. It's against this horrid backdrop that he deals with the eternal questions of life, love, and death. The illness itself becomes secondary. For it's the unexamined life that is the true plague. This book is a masterpiece.

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"The Loved One" by Evelyn Waugh: Dennis Barlow is a young English writer trying to find his way in Hollywood. Or at least he was until he lost his job at a movie studio and opted instead for a position at the Happier Hunting Ground, a funeral parlor for pets. Dennis spends his nights transporting animal corpses and operating a canine crematorium. Although all animals are welcome; birds, goats, pigs. If it can die, Dennis can help it towards its happier hunting ground.

Then one day, after suffering a somewhat tragic personal loss of the human variety, Dennis finds it necessary to make funeral arrangements at Whispering Glades, a funeral parlor at the other end of the spectrum from the Happier Hunting Ground. Everything about Whispering Glades is first class. Including the help. While there Dennis meets the lovely Aimee Thanatogenos, whose job it is to apply makeup to the dead bodies. Could there be any doubt that these two crazy kids would fall in love? In case there was any doubt, Dennis lies, cheats, connives, and manipulates his way into Aimee's heart. What a guy.

This is a short, compact tale of failed love, death, and life through death. It's smart and wickedly funny. There's one moment in particular, when Aimee discovers the truth about where Dennis works, that never fails to bring a smile upon reflection.

Rating this book was extremely difficult. It's more entertaining than enlightening. It's not really significant enough to warrant four shots; that is to say it lacks that little extra something needed to achieve such an honor. But our affection for "The Loved One" is almost enough to sneak it in under the wire. Almost. As it is, put it at the top of all three-shot books.

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"At Lady Molly's" by Anthony Powell: This is the fourth installment in Mr. Powell's acclaimed "A Dance to the Music of Time" series which follows the life of protagonist Nick Jenkins. London high society in the 1930s is the scene this time as Nick encounters a variety of unique individuals.

The only real reason to read this book is to familiarize oneself with Mr. Powell's work. There's simply no denying that he's an exceptional writer. Unfortunately, "At Lady Molly's" offers nothing unique or particularly memorable. But I guess that's one of the problems when trying to string together an 11-book series involving the same characters; each installment can't be titanic or the poor souls would be worn out by the time book three rolls around. Either way, it pales in comparison to Aldous Huxley's "Point Counter Point", which is a far superior look at English society, albeit at an earlier place in time.

Even though it doesn't belong among the truly great novels, "At Lady Molly's" is still quite good. Give it a read for no other reason than to study its author.

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"Of Love and Other Demons" by Gabriel Garcia Marquez: Sierva Maria was never exactly an ideal child. Her normal behavior was peculiar at best. It certainly didn't help that she was the neglected product of a loveless marriage. But when the little girl is bitten by a rabid dog on her twelfth birthday, her father discovers a genuine interest in the child and orders all possible cures and precautions to be taken, despite the girl showing no signs of disease. Maria perceives all the attention as just another reason to be strange. The continued bizarre behavior only convinces the father that something more must be done to help his daughter. There was only one option left. Exorcism. And let me tell ya from personal experience, it's not as bad as it sounds. The candles, the incense... makes for a fun evening.

So Maria gets sent to a convent where she's horribly mistreated by the sisters, which only adds fuel to the fire. A priest eventually gets called in to try and handle her case. It's not long before Father Delaura falls in love with young Maria. I know, I know, she's only 12. But considering the current state of affairs, at least she's not an altar boy.

This book starts out slowly, but it's worth the wait. Aside from offering some interesting takes on love and religion, there are also one or two jokes that should draw a laugh. The ending is great. And a good ending can make up a lot of ground.

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"Amerika" by Franz Kafka: Karl Rossman has been turned out by his family and shipped to the United States to start a new life. It seems the 16-year-old German lad was seduced and taken advantage of by a chambermaid or, as the 70 proof staff likes to call her, the greatest chambermaid ever. Anyway, the chambermaid gets pregnant, Karl's parents get angry, and it's USA or bust.

Naturally, Karl gets involved in all sorts of wacky misadventures due to his naivety and innocent outlook on life. Of course, most of the time you'll just want to smack Karl upside the head for being so dumb. Any conflicts perpetuated solely by the stupidity of the character are a waste of time. This book is a mess. It reads like it was patched together from old notes and neglected drafts. Oh wait, that's because it was. All Kafka's books were compiled, reedited, and sometimes even added to by a friend of his who ignored Kafka's last request to have his writings burned upon his death.

It's not really fair being so hard on "Amerika" considering the product read could be vastly different than the vision Kafka had intended. But, as it is, there isn't really much to like. I kept trying to find deeper meanings in Karl's journey and his encounters only to come up empty each and every time. Just when it seems as though there's going to be some profound knowledge gained, the story breaks off in another direction leaving issues unresolved and past characters forgotten. It can be argued that Kafka is trying to make a statement about the nature of authority, but I think that would be wishful thinking.

The truth is that this is Kafka trying to be Charles Dickens. That's never a good thing. I had an uncle once that thought he was Henry Winkler. Sure, he looked good in the leather jacket and it was kind of cool the way we never needed quarters to play the jukebox, but how many times can you hear "Ay!" before it gets on your nerves? I'll tell ya how many. Sixteen. Yeah, that's right. Sixteen times. After that I just wanted to break off his thumbs and shove 'em up his carburetor. But that's neither here nor there. The point is you have to be true to yourself. One Charles Dickens is enough, thank you very much.

Having said all that, you still might want to give "Amerika" a read if you're a fan of Kafka's other work. His usual deft style is on display and sections of the book are quite enjoyable. Just don't expect them to add up to anything of importance.

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"A Family Party" by John O'Hara: This is only a novella. It's like 65 pages. But it probably should have been no pages. The idea is that citizens of the small town of Lyons, PA, gather to honor Dr. Samuel Merritt for 40 years of valued service. The book consists entirely of a speech given by Albert Shoemaker, a longtime friend of the doctor. Mr. Shoemaker is the only voice heard from start to finish. Obviously, this sets the table for some potential comedy. One can only imagine what Dorothy Parker would have done with a similar setup, having the speaker blindly ramble on and on in a way that hardly praises the guest of honor despite intentions to the contrary. But Mr. O'Hara doesn't answer the call. I kept waiting for a punchline that never came. The story is dead on arrival. It's a whole lot of nothing. Only enormous respect for Mr. O'Hara's "Appointment in Samarra" keeps this one from going shotless.

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