The 70 proof staff enjoys three things above all else. And it just so happens that reading is third behind only... well, let's just say it's third.

Every few weeks we'll provide brief reviews of the books we've been reading in hopes of helping you, our valued readers, make better choices the next time you're at the library, book store, or refined brothel.

We rate books on a scale of zero to four shots, with four being a work of true genius.

Feel free to let us know if you have any books in particular you would like us to address.

APRIL 12, 2002

"I, Claudius" by Robert Graves: This is one of those books, not unlike "1984" or "Brave New World", that makes you shake your head in disbelief when considering the imagination of the writer. Told from the perspective of the Emperor Claudius, who was thought an idiot by his own family and peers, Mr. Graves brings ancient Rome to pulsating life. Tales of murder, deceit, and infidelity compete for attention on each and every page. The subject matter itself is so fascinating as a history lesson that it can be easy to forget that it's the work of a modern author. Merely conceiving the idea is incredible. Making it work so skillfully is no less than astounding.

RATING:

"Native Son" by Richard Wright: Bigger Thomas, local hoodlum and ne'er-do-well, reluctantly takes a job as chauffeur with a wealthy white family in order to help his mother and young siblings pay the bills. Bigger's first day on the job doesn't go so well. He kind of accidentally kills the beautiful young daughter of his new employer and then cuts up her body and burns it in the furnace. Yeah, hard to get happy after that one.

Mr. Wright uses the plight of Bigger, a character that isn't exactly easy to root for, to sound the alarm of race relations and the desperate conditions facing many African-Americans in the 1930s. While the third, and final, section of the book does seem to drag at times, that's due more to the unparalleled voracity of the first two sections than any true weakness of its own. The last page is positively chilling. This is a brilliant work of literature.

RATING:

"The Postman Always Rings Twice" by James M. Cain: It rarely pays to be nice. Mr. Papadakis, the Greek owner of a greasy spoon, offers a drifter a job out of the kindness of his heart. How does the drifter repay him? By having an affair with the Greek's wife and plotting to kill him, that's how.

The best Film Noir starts on the page. The 1946 classic starring Lana Turner and John Garfield sprang from Mr. Cain's novel of sex and betrayal. Cain's blunt, fearless style makes this tale of depravity burn with passion. Although it is a bit uneven at times, the plot twists and unforgettable ending more than make up for any shortcomings. But in the crime genre it's still a notch below Dashiell Hammett's masterpiece, "The Maltese Falcon."

RATING:

"Maggie: A Girl of the Streets" by Stephen Crane: Before "The Red Badge of Courage" made him immortal, Stephen Crane told the story of Maggie, a poor, impoverished girl living in the slums of New York circa 1893. Maggie's day-to-day existence is nothing short of brutal, made all the worse by an alcoholic father and an abusive, uncaring mother. And just when it seems Maggie finds love and a way out, the brief glimmer of hope gets extinguished beneath a cruel heel.

While not flawless, "Maggie" is an excellent book. Mr. Crane's social commentary isn't hidden behind flowery language or unnecessary imagery. He paints Maggie's cruel life with a forceful brush, thrusting attention upon the deplorable conditions facing many families at the turn of the century. The work also serves as another reminder of just how far morality has changed in the past 100 years.

RATING:

"The Ginger Man" by J.P. Donleavy: This is quite the raucous yarn of alcohol, skirt chasing, and mirth. Sebastian Dangerfield is hacking around Ireland avoiding work and the confines of marriage, all the while hiding behind the ruse of education. Once he gets his law degree things will change. If only he had that law degree. Or if his wealthy father back in the States would kick, whichever comes first. As it is, Sebastian yearns a living by hawking possessions and every other worthwhile object within reach. Hmm, sounds familiar. The money seldom lasts longer than the nearest pint. His wife eventually splits, taking their baby daughter with her. But she is only one of four women Sebastian abuses by fist, drink, or deed. He likes to spread the joy.

At its best, "The Ginger Man" is exceptional; sure four-shot material. Mr. Donleavy pulls no punches in depicting the rascality of Sebastian. A lesser writer may have attempted to cast the hero in a more flattering light. Unfortunately, the story does get bogged down on occasion. I just wanted it to hurry up. Then again, I guess that's kind of the point since Sebastian wanders aimlessly through life at no particular speed. Hmm, once again this whole thing sounds familiar. Whatever. There's also the Irish factor. I've had some bad experiences with James Joyce and Flann O'Brien. I would have written off the entire Emerald Isle if not for Samuel Beckett. But "The Ginger Man" definitely deserves a read.

RATING:

"Jennie Gerhardt" by Theodore Dreiser: Jennie is the eldest daughter of the Gerhardt clan, a family struggling to make ends meet. When Jennie and her mother find menial work at a posh hotel, Jennie's beauty catches the eye of Senator Brander, an aging political figure of significant means. Jennie and the Senator, a man 40 years her senior, soon begin a clandestine relationship against the will of her father. The two plan to wed. Sadly, Senator Brander takes ill while away on a trip and dies, leaving Jennie pregnant and with nowhere to turn for help.

This isn't really a book of any importance. I mean, it's a swell story and all but it's just your standard tale of woe. And there's plenty of woe for ol' Jennie, so that's pretty cool. The real reason to read it, though, is Mr. Dreiser's confidently controlled style. The work is easily accessible and flows from one page to the next. He makes it seem effortless. That's always the sign of a master.

RATING:

"Brideshead Revisited" by Evelyn Waugh: Captain Charles Ryder takes a walk down memory lane after unwittingly leading his army regiment onto the country estate of Brideshead, a once resplendent property that brings back long-buried emotions from his past. This book doesn't have the social significance of a "Native Son" or the timeless charm of a "Great Gatsby", but experiencing Mr. Waugh's mastery of the written word is inspiring. This guy ain't no joke. Each sentence is so well-crafted, they spill forth with an elegance few writers can even approach, let alone achieve.

RATING:

"Ragtime" by E.L. Doctorow: "Ragtime" is supposed to weave fictional characters and famous real life folks from the early 1900s into a wonderful tapestry of life, or some other slop along those lines. Well, guess what? Didn't happen. It's fitting that Harry Houdini is featured because about 30 pages in I wanted this book to disappear. Its pace is so slow it could be sauteed and served as appetizers at French restaurants. Unless you lose a bet, don't bother.

RATING:

"Falconer" by John Cheever: The title refers to the prison where Farragut, a drug addict and former college professor, is confined for killing his brother. Mr. Cheever should be sentenced for murdering two hours of my life. This book is dreadful. Avoid it like the plague. If for some reason you discover this novel in your possession, carefully place it on the ground and run. When a safe distance is achieved, find the nearest sink and proceed to scrub your eyes and hands. Twice.

RATING: No Shots

"Balthazar" by Lawrence Durrell: You know you're in trouble when the author takes time at the beginning of the book to explain its purpose and importance. Yeah, that's a red flag. This is, without doubt, the most pretentious book I've ever attempted to read. "Balthazar" (along with "Justine", "Mountolive", and "Clea") is one fourth of the "Alexandria Quartet", which ranked 70th on the Modern Library's List of the 100 best novels of the 20th century. I got your quartet right here. Hum a few bars of this, Larry...

RATING: No Shots